Thoughts for Today

Not exactly a joyful day for me.  Feeling a little down and discouraged.  While at a little 45 minute program at church this morning, we wished a little girl a happy 3rd birthday.  I couldn't help but notice how *three* this little one looked and how much younger Sarah looks.  No one ever guesses that she's almost three years old... in fact, most people have a look of surprise when I tell them her age.  The comment that follows is usually "wow, she's small".  Yup.  I know.  Not many 3 year olds are tipping the scale at a mere 24.5 pounds.  Since Sarah's official diagnosis from the evaluation, I've been more keenly aware of some of Sarah's behaviors and it makes me a little sad. 

~ She wanders... at times aimlessly.  To me, that means she needs to be watched very carefully.  She has no real concept of boundaries or danger.  While at the park, she has to have someone watch her because she will just walk off an edge or step backwards and fall.  She doesn't have a sense of spacial awareness. 

~ She gazes at her surroundings.  I understand that it is a normal behavior for infants but not for three year olds.  Except mine.

~ She's not really steady on her feet.  Someone at the park casually mentioned that she appears dizzy.  She doesn't know any of Sarah's history but she pretty much got it right.  Hearing that from an innocent bystander was really tough. 

~ Another time someone asked, if in addition to her being small, she was behind in other areas of development.  The temptation to tell her that everything else was fine, was overwhelming.  But I admitted to it.  Yes.  She is behind in most areas including her physical size.

I'm trying to find the blessing in this small phase of her our lives.  I don't know what to do... I'm so overwhelmed right now.  Tomorrow we are attending a "Play and Say group.  We'll see what that is like...